


Scars that Silence Carved

by flowersforgraves



Series: hc_bingo round 8 [26]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Community: hc_bingo, Dubious Consent, Eating Disorders, Fat Shaming, Forced Weight Gain, M/M, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 07:52:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersforgraves/pseuds/flowersforgraves
Summary: In which clone conditioning is a bitch, and Kenobi is oblivious.prompts: broken bones, feeding someone, explosion, major illness or injury





	Scars that Silence Carved

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of thoughts about Jedi accidentally (or "accidentally") taking advantage of the troopers under their command.

He grits his teeth, lets his general touch him, even though he doesn’t want to even exist in his body ever again, let alone have sex. But he’s got to do this, got to suck it up and accept that this is his life now, that he’s not a soldier but a servant. He’s given up on resisting, given up on trying to make things easier, because the easiest thing he can do is let Kenobi have his way.

He makes himself cough, chokes on the next bite, because otherwise he’s not going to get a break. Thankfully, Kenobi pauses until Cody catches his breath before pushing the fork into the clone’s mouth again.

“Sorry,” Cody mumbles around the next mouthful. He’s not, he’s scared and uncomfortable and helpless, but he’s not sorry.

“It’s alright,” Kenobi says with a smile. He leans in to kiss Cody’s cheek. “Come on. Eat.”

Cody doesn’t want to. But he smiles back, and hides the flinch, and opens his mouth like he’s supposed to, like the good boy he’s supposed to be. Kenobi calls him that, calls him _good boy_ and _sweetheart_ and _my love_.

He hates being called any of those pet names. At the beginning it had sent a thrill down his spine, pleasure that he’d earned his general’s approval. But now it only means that he’s gained weight, that Kenobi’s kink is satisfied, that he’s given up more of himself to keep his general happy.

Kenobi probably, hopefully, doesn’t know what this food kink shit is doing to Cody. He doesn’t know that brothers look at Cody with disgust, make comments behind his back, don’t trust him any more. A clone not in top form is a liability. Cody shields his thoughts and emotions like Kenobi had taught him to do in front of enemy Force users, so his general can’t see how much this is hurting.

There’s a Force bond on him, too, to keep him from vomiting. It’s supposed to help him eat more. He doesn’t think Kenobi knows that Cadet 2224 forced himself to throw up when he didn’t deserve to eat, because even if he can’t trust his general anymore he doesn’t think Kenobi would be deliberately cruel.

Here in the present Kenobi has one set of fingers wrapped around Cody’s cock, stroking gently as he keeps feeding Cody with the other hand. Cody obediently swallows the last bite. It’s humiliating, to have his hands tied so he can’t even have the control of being the one to hold the fork, and even more so to know that this is only going to continue until Cody’s completely unfit to be a soldier. Then he’ll just be Kenobi’s toy, fed and fucked and fed and fucked until he can’t do anything but that.

Not that he isn’t Kenobi’s plaything now. If he were real, if he were a person and not a clone, he’d have said no to this by now. He’d have stopped it from getting this bad, where he can’t even bear to look at himself in the mirror because he’s _fat_ and _disgusting_ and _useless_. 

Kenobi likes it. Cody can tell from the way he can’t keep his hands off Cody’s body, from how he breathes “Beautiful” into Cody’s skin when they’re having sex. The sex is the least awful part, because this at least he knows how to get away from, whether by convincing himself it’s consensual or by dissociating away from it. And it’s not like he hasn’t fantasized about this -- well, not this specifically, but sex with his general? Yeah, sure. Kenobi is hot as hell, pretty face, pretty eyes, sexy voice, and he’s kind and treats Cody and his brothers like they’re worth something.

Except for now. Now Cody isn’t worth anything, not when Kenobi is holding him down and fucking him into the mattress, not when he’s crying and trying to hide it in case Kenobi takes it out on someone else, not when he’s stuffed full of rations and been weighed and measured to make sure he’s gaining enough weight to satisfy Kenobi’s kink. He hates his body, hates how soft he’s getting, hates that he can grab parts of himself that weren’t there before, hates the weight that has settled on his stomach and hips and everywhere.

When Kenobi gets called to a month-long mission away from the 212th for the Jedi Council, Cody realizes this is his chance. The second Kenobi leaves the _Negotiator_ he starts running. He pushes himself in the gym, harder than he’s ever done before. He doesn’t eat, restricting his calorie intake down to the bare minimum that he needs to stay on his feet. His goal is to drop as much weight as possible in this month, get back to the way he was before, even if he’s not going to be able to stay that way.

So he avoids the mess hall. He neglects his paperwork, or does it too fast, because he would much rather be in the gym or on the track, running. He substitutes black caff for sleep, because without sweetener it’s pretty much calorie-free and he’ll be able to stay awake longer. He ignores his body’s protests, and continues to exercise too much and eat too little.

His efforts are paying off. He’s lost most of the weight he’s gained for Kenobi, and he’s still got another three days before his general’s scheduled return. He plucks at the undersuit, the fabric looser than it should be, stretched from when he’d been fifteen pounds heavier a month ago. It’s not loose enough, though; Cody needs to be thinner, to lose the rest of the extra weight and more besides, because he needs his brothers to trust him, needs his brothers to know he won’t let them down.

So instead of eating a real dinner, he allows himself a half-cup of soup and a glass of water before he heads back to train more, to spar with one of the captains. If he lets himself fall back into real eating habits, he might gain weight again, and that’s not acceptable. 

Kenobi comes back to the _Negotiator…_ shell shocked. That’s just about the only way Cody can describe it, because his eyes are glazed over and he’s got a broken arm cradled against his chest. Cody fusses over him, does everything Kenobi asks for and some things he doesn’t, because he’s supposed to be in love, because he’s supposed to be grateful, because he _is_ grateful that he’s the one this is happening to and not any of his brothers.

Kenobi doesn’t mention Cody’s weight loss. He doesn’t try to feed Cody again, and while Cody’s grateful for that, he’s also suspicious and concerned. “Sir?” he asks, finally. “What happened on that mission?”

Kenobi’s eyes, still empty even a week later, turn and settle on him. “There was a bomb,” he says, finally, dully. “I don’t -- I don’t know what happened. I did everything I could. But it wasn’t enough.”

His fingers are tapping a staccato rhythm on the cast over his other arm. Cody knows this means he’s very stressed, when he’s showing his anxiety like this.

“They bombed a hospital, Cody,” he says, voice shaking. “I was supposed to help stabilize the internal affairs, but the hospital…”

Cody flinches. He knows what’s coming next.

“I was at the hospital when it happened. I tried to save everyone, but triage was so crowded, there was nothing I could do, oh, Force, Cody, if I hadn’t been there it wouldn’t have happened. I killed those people.” His shoulders are shaking too, and his eyes have the first spark of life Cody’s seen in weeks, and it’s self-hate.

That’s when Cody decides he can’t inflict any more pain on his general. He reaches out, draws Kenobi into his arms, holds him close as he sobs. “It wasn’t your fault,” he says gruffly. “It wasn’t, I promise.”

Slowly, Kenobi stops crying. “I’m sorry, Cody,” he says, wiping his eyes. “I shouldn’t put this on you.”

“It’s alright,” Cody says. It’s an easy lie, one he’s told before and one he’ll tell again. “What do you want me to do?”

Kenobi leans his forehead against Cody’s shoulder. “Stay?” he asks quietly.

“Of course,” Cody says, and swallows what he wants to say, because _you hurt me and I shouldn’t have to comfort you_ isn’t useful right now. Neither is _I can’t do this_ or _please don’t hurt me anymore_ , but, well. This isn’t about him. 

It’s never been about him.


End file.
